Inappropriate Christmas Mix

Here some tunes to play while you hoist the Festivus pole!

Christmas Card From A Hooker in Minneapolis - Tom Waits
You should know this one by now. If not, shame on you.

Cold White Christmas - Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
Sad song about spending Christmas alone in St. Paul. Dude, what is up with all these songs taking place in Minnesota? Remind me not to spend the holidays there, k thanks.

Depressed Christmas - Culturcide
Sung to the tune of "White Christmas" except with lower-than-lo-fi production. Oh and it's about suicide, no really it is!

Papa Ain't No Santa Claus (And Mama Ain't No Christmas Tree) - Butterbeans and Susie
This song was recorded in like the 1930's and it is HILARIOUS. The title kinda says it all

I Don't Love Anyone - Belle & Sebastian
NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS

Christmas in Jail, Ain't that a Pain - Leroy Carr
Yes, yes it is. Another Depression-era classic

Did I Make You Cry on Christmas (Well You Deserved It!) - Sufjan Stevens
Ouch Suf, that stings. I thought we were friends.


I Hate Christmas - Oscar the Grouch
Every December my family gathers around and watches that 80's Sesame Street special where Oscar tells Big Bird it's impossible for Santa to climb down chimneys. Which prompts Big Bird to wait on the rooftop all Christmas Eve night for the big man's arrival. He then freezes his giblets off. Classic.